Harry

Harry was blind...

... His friends bought him a silver-coated nutmeg grater for his birthday. When they asked how he liked it, he said it was the most violent story he'd ever read.

How does Harry Potter like his sandwiches to be cut ?

Diagon alley

What's Harry Potter's favourite way of getting down a hill?

Walking.

...

JK Rolling.

In the Harry Potter books, Sirius Black is in his early 30's,

... but in the movies, he look like an Oldman.

Harry Potter walks into a bar.

Because I put them on his bedroom window.

Harry Potter: "Hermoine, I'm gay"

Hermione: "Are you kidding?" Harry: "No, I'm fucking Sirius"

Two guys were out fishing on the lake when a hearse and funeral procession passed the boat on a nearby road. One of them stood up and held his fishing hat over his heart as the hearse passed. His buddy commented, "Gee, Harry, that was really nice and respectful!"

To which Harry replied, "Well, after all we were married 40 years."

Pippa Middleton's arse is like a JK Rowling book.

You know Harry's going to be in it.

(credit sickipedia)

Naming the new royal baby

Rumours were that Harry and Meghan we going to name the child “Seatbelt”

When questioned about this, Prince Harry responded with “Its what my mum would have wanted”

Nephew asks how babies are made

My young nephew Harry asked me how babies are made. I had no idea how to approach it so I looked online and found a video that explains it all. At the end of the video I told him "It's basically just like that, only the white goo on her face should have gone up her pussy and normally there isn't a horse involved".

Harry can’t tell the difference between his potion brewing pot and his best friend...

They are both cauldron.