In honor of my dad, who passed away on Wednesday...here is his favorite joke.
Man finds the magic mirror (from Snow White) and gets excited to have his wish come true. So he chants: Magic Mirror on the Wall, make my penis touch the floor!
poof
His penis touches the floor.
His legs are also shorter. Way. Shorter.
My ex-wife passed away so I went to the cemetery to honor her. I brought a 20 year old bottle of fine scotch and poured it over her grave
But first I filtered it through my kidneys.
In honor of his passing, my dad's favorite joke to tell waiters
Waiter: "And to drink, sir?"
Dad: "I'll have a blind coke."
Waiter: "I'm sorry?"
Dad: "You know, a blind coke. No ice."
What's this "✌"?
A Roman ordering 5 more beers.
joke by Art Pozner. He told me I could take it with me, and in his honor, you can take it with you.
The ship stuck in the Suez should be named in honor of Mitch McConnell.
It's big, full of crap, and obstructing everything in its path.
Colin Kaepernick wasn’t the first athlete to take a knee
That honor belongs to Tonya Harding.
A judge asked Shakira if she commited tax fraud.
Shakira: "Of course not your Honor."
Shakiras Hips:"Of course we did your Honor."
What is it called when a girl in the military squirts?
an honorable discharge.
(made this one up at work)
He offered her honor
She honored his offer.
So all night it was honor offer honor offer honor offer.
What's a straight-A student's favorite type of sushi?
The Honor Roll.