Librarian

I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia.

She leaned over and whispered, "They're right behind you. . ."

My cock was actually in the Guinness Book of World Records once...

But it really pissed off the librarian and she kicked me out!

A blonde walks into a library

and says to the librarian,"I'll have a cheese burger." the librarian replies softly says,"Sweety, this is a library." the blonde whispers,"Oh. Sorry, I'll have a cheese burger."

My penis was once in the Guiness Book of World Records

But the librarian made me take it out.

A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Hello, I'd like a hamburger please."

The librarian says, "Sir, this is a library."

The man apologizes, then whispers ^"I'd ^like ^a ^hamburger ^please."

A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian responds with, "Fuck off; you won't bring it back!"

Me: Do you have that new book about living with a small penis?

Librarian: I’m sorry, I don’t think it’s in yet.

Me: Yeah, that’s the one.

Did you hear about the librarian that was killed in an earthquake?

She was crushed by a title wave.