Are you Blonde?
A blond cop pulls over a blond and asks for her drivers license. The blond starts looking through her car then asks, "Uhh, what are they again?"
The blond cop replies, "Ugh. It's the thing in your purse with your picture on it." "Oh yeah," says the blond who reaches in her purse, pulls out a compact mirror, and hands it over. The blond cop opens it, takes a look inside, hands it back, and says, "I'm sorry ma'am. If I knew you were a cop, I wouldn't have pulled you over."
When I got my license I didn't have money for a car, so I robbed a bank. Anyway, as I was being dragged off to jail my mother wanted to know why I did it. So I told her the truth:
"I did it for the car, ma!"
Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement...
...in the end, you ignore it all and click "I agree".
A car gets pulled over
Policeman: "sir, you were driving above the speed limit here. Give me your licence".
Man:" this must be a mistake. I was driving below the speed limit. I always do..."
Woman: "Darling, you know it isn't true".
Man: "shut up you stupid cunt".
Policeman: "sir, license please".
Man: "I already told you I wasn't overspeeding".
Woman: "it was way above the speed limit, dear".
Man: "I told you to shut up woman."
Policeman: "ma'am, does this man mistreat you?".
"only when he is drunk".
A blonde police officer pulls over a blonde
The police officer asks the blonde, "Can I see you license and registration, please?". The blonde then asked, "What is that?", the police officer says, "That thing with your face on it", the blonde then pulls a mirror out of her purse, and hands it to the police officer. The police officer then says, "Oh, my bad, if I knew you were a police officer I wouldn't have pulled you over."
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.
First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.
The optician showed him a card with the letters
' Z A S T R Z E Z Y N S K I '
'Can you read this?' the optician asked.
'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.'
a man gets pulled over by a cop, and is asked for his license
officer: it says on your license that you need to be wearing glasses. driver: i have contacts. officer: i don't give a fuck who you know, buddy.
Nobody wants to die alone.
That's why I'm training for my pilot's license.
A Polish police officer pulls over a German tourist.
Officer: Good day, license and registration, please.
The tourist gives his license and registration to the police officer.
Officer: What is your age?
Tourist: 31 years old.
Officer: Occupation?
Tourist: No, just visiting.