Lip

What did the left pussy lip say to the right pussy lip ?

We used to be tight before we let some dick get between us.

How did the hipster burn his lips?

He drank his coffee before it was cool.

A Mormon and an Irishman are on a plane.

A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London to the US.

After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips."

The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice."

A 60 years old billionaire marries a hot 25 year old girl..

After hnoeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage...

After a few drinks, billionaire’s friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo hottie..

‟It is simple” billionaire boasts.... ‟I faked my age”

‟Yes, but even for a 40/45 years old guy...she is sensational, what age btw did you tell you’re?” A friend asks.

With a smile on his lips billionaire responds ‟85 years old”

A farmer shoves his hand up his cows rear end...

And rubs the poop on his chapped lips

His son asks “does that help your chapped lips?”

The farmer replied “no, but it stops me from licking them.”

What goes "Ooooooooooo!"?

A cow with no lips.