Mark

Boy asks, "Granny, have u seen my pills, they're marked LSD"

Granny replies, "Fuck the pills, have u seen the dragon in the kitchen?!"

If 666 is the mark of the beast...

... and the beast is pure evil wouldn't 25.8069758011278803 technically be the root of all evil?

Mark Zuckerberg's car hit a guy's car

Guy (angry) : Do you know who I am?

Mark : Yes, you are Scott Thomas, you have 237 friends out of which 37 are females and your wife doesn't know 12 of them. Last holiday you went to Thailand and there you . . .

Guy : Leave it bro, it was my fault.

Do special ed teachers mark late students as tardy?

i have no shame.

Mark went for a walk in the park.

As he strolled up the path he heard someone shout, "Mark!"

He stopped and turned his head, and heard it again. "Mark!"

There was nobody around except for an old man on a bench with his dog, so he walked closer.

"Mark! Mark!" said the dog, tugging on its leash in the man's hands.

Mark was taken aback. "You.. you know my name?! ..and can ***talk***?"

"Oh?" the man lifted his head. "I'm sorry, she can't pronounce her B's".

What do you call a punctuation mark that's got a girlfriend?

..accommodating.

If Facebook buys Gmail then the 'mark as seen' option would be changed to 'Mark has seen'.

Little Johnny was eating dinner with his family. His mother went around the table and asked, "Mark, what would you like to eat?" Mark said, "I'd like some fucking potatoes." SMACK! Mother slapped Mark. She then asked Suzie, "What would you like to eat?" "Well, I'd like some fucking potatoes," said Suzie SMAACK! She slapped Suzie. "Ok. Johnny, what would you like to eat?" "Well.... I sure as hell don't want no fucking potatoes."

A guy named John Asshole goes to the courthouse change his name

The judge asks him: "What's your name?"

John was a ashamed of saying it out loud so he wrote his name down and passed it to the judge

The judge holds his laugh and asks him "Well, obviously your name must be changed. What name do you prefer to be called from now on, sir?"

"Mark Asshole"

Ladies, if there’s a man who remembers your birthday, knows what you enjoy and understands your friends and family...

.. it’s Mark Zuckerberg.

What kind of grades did Tommy Wiseau get in school?

Oh, high marks

What do skid marks on the toilet bowl and girlfriends have in common?

They're both easy to piss off

Mom: Son, why dont you talk to Mark anymore? You used to be best friends.

Son: Well would you talk to someone who is stupid, uses drugs and is an alchocolic? Mom: Of course not. Son: Well neither would he.

My girlfriend told me to behave more dominant...

So I marked my belongigs. Now she's pissed.

Facebook is set to release its own webmail client...

...emails will be flagged as "Mark has read"