An engineer, a physicist, a mathematician, and a philosopher are at a coffee house.
The physicist says, "You know, engineering is just applied physics," and they all laugh. The mathematician says, "You know, physics is just applied math," and they all laugh again. Then the philosopher says, "Well, you know, math is just applied philosophy," and the engineer says, "Shut up and make our coffee."
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar...
...the first orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a quarter of a beer. Before the next one can order, the bartender says, "You're all assholes," and pours two beers.
What did the constipated mathematician do?
He worked it out with a pencil.
Why do cellular biologists always disagree with mathematicians?
Because to them dividing and multiplying are the same
I hate engineer students, they always walk around saying "I'm an engineer" this, or "I'm an engineer" that.
You don't hear a math student say "i'm a mathematician" or an art student say "i'm a barista".
Why was the mathematician late for work?
He took the rhombus.
What do you call a former stripper turned mathematician?
The thot that counts.
A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician are relaxing on a hill overlooking an abandoned house. They watch two people enter the house through a broken window. Time passes. Later they observe three people leave the house.
The physicist says, "Our measurements weren't accurate."
The biologist says, "They must have reproduced."
The mathematician says, "If one more person goes inside, the house will be empty."
Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them
What do you call a Dothraki mathematician?
Khal Culator