Music jokes

Cast

Cast

Steven Spielberg is casting for his upcoming blockbuster on the history of classical music.

He asks his stars who they want to play. Brad Pitt says, "I want to be Mozart. His pastiche of influences from several European countries has always fascinated me." Tom Cruise chimes in with, "I’d like to be Beethoven. I love the way he handled the transition from Classicism to Romanticism." Arnold Schwarzenegger says, "I'll be Bach."

Research

Research

So I did some research...

and Chinese people like listening to music on their phones with earbuds, black people like portable speakers, Mexicans prefer cheaper systems in their home with big speakers and white people like higher end but compact systems...

Sorry, I guess I shouldn't be discussing racial stereo types.

Years

Years

MTV turns 40 this year.

Thanks for 14 years of music.

Study

Study

Accordion to a recent study...

Replacing words with the names of musical instruments often goes undetected,

Guy

Guy

A guy arrives at a music-themed costume party and the host asks him what he is supposed to be. The guy happily shouts 'A harp'. The host pauses and then says 'I think that costume seems a little small to be a harp'.

The guy replies 'Are you calling me a lyre?'.

Dictionary

Dictionary

Did you see the Broadway musical about the dictionary?

It's a play on words.

Wife

Wife

When my wife suggested getting a white noise machine for the bedroom, I was initially ok with it.

Then I realized I hate country music.

Mozart

Mozart

When Mozart died, you could hear his music playing backwards at his grave.

He was decomposing.

Family

Family

My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I'll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.

French

French

What do the French listen to in their spare time?

Royalty free music

People

People

I hate it when people think they can just waltz into my room..

When what I’m listening to is clearly in 4/4

Field

Field

Two electric windmills are standing in a field.

One turns to the other and asks "What kind of music do you like?" The second one replies "I'm a huge metal fan".

Neighbor

Neighbor

My neighbors listen to some great music at night.

Whether they like it or not.

Movie

Movie

I downloaded all the music to the movie Titanic.

It's syncing now.

Guy

Guy

The guy at my local music shop asked me why I'm always coming in to buy new harmonicas

I told him "I blow right through them"