A Seventh Grade Health Class
was learning about pregnancy. Young Suzy asks her teacher, "Can my grandma get pregnant?" Her teacher replies that no, she can't, shes far too old. Suzy then asks if her fifty year old mother could get pregnant. Her teacher tells her no, shes a little too old for that. Suzy, puzzled, asks if she can get pregnant. Her teacher freaks out and tells her "Don't even think about it young lady, you're far too young!" Johnny pipes up from the back of class "See, I told you we had nothing to worry about!"
A hooker goes to the doctor
She tells the doctor she feels nauseous, after few tests the doctor comes back to tell her that she's pregnant
"Congratulations, so do you know who's the father?"
"If you ate a can of beans, would you know which one caused the fart?"
Girlfriend said "I think I'm pregnant, I'm two weeks late..
..April fools!"
“Well - Mrs. Smith, it would seem that you're pregnant.”
“Sweet Jesus, that's wonderful, I'm pregnant, Doctor?!”
“Oh not at all, but at first glance, it would certainly seem so. Here's our weight loss brochure.”
Ever since my girlfriend got pregnant, a lot has changed...
like my name, phone number, address, etc.
A woman asks her doctor if she can get pregnant from anal sex
He answers, "Sure. Where do you think lawyers come from?"
I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.
Guy: Doctor my girlfriend is pregnant but I always wear contraception and the rubber never breaks
Doctor: Let me tell you a story, there once was a hunter who always carried a gun with him. But one day he forgot his gun and brought an umbrella with him instead (cause it was raining). Then a lion jumped at him but he shot it with the umbrella
Guy: Nonsense, someone else must have shot the lion!
Doctor: Ahh, so you understood my story. Next!
