Rope jokes

Horse

Horse

An Amish Woman

Amish woman(riding a horse and buggy) gets pulled over because reflector on her buggy is broken.. cop says, “you might want to have your husband look at your reflector” He notices a rope wrapped around the horse’s balls...”and ma’am, some folks might find that rope offensive”. The lady later makes it home and tells her husband about the event. “cop says the reflector is busted... and he didn't like the emergency brake neither”

Bar

Bar

A rope walks into a bar

And sees someone sitting at the bar reposting this joke. The rope hangs the reposter.

Bar

Bar

A rope walks into a bar...

And orders and drink. The bartender says," We don't serve ropes here." So the rope goes outside, frays his ends, and ties himself into a knot. He comes back in and once again orders a drink. The bartender says,"Aren't you that rope I just turned down?" To which the rope replies, "No, I'm a frayed knot."

Man

Man

What did the rope say to me?

"Hey there, man, you wanna hang later?"

Game

Game

What game does an emo hate the most? Cut the Rope.

Person

Person

How do you get a depressed person out of a tree? You cut the rope...

Hang

Hang

Are you a rope? Because I wanna hang with you.

Man

Man

A man enters an animal shop, and sees a parrot with ropes tied to each of it's legs...

The man asks the shopkeeper about the parrot and the shopkeeper replies:

- If you pull the right leg rope, he's gonna greet you in French, and if you pull the left leg rope, he'll greet you in German

- And what about, if i pull both simultaneously? - asks the man.

- Well, he...

Suddenly the parrot interrupts him:

- I will fall down, you idiot!

Son

Son

I found my son hanging from a rope in his bedroom. On the floor was a note saying, "I can't stand the critism anymore." I quickly cut him down, gave him CPR and he started to breath....

As he lay in my arms, I saw his eyes slowly open and I said, "That's not how you spell criticism."

Knot

Knot

I can swallow a rope and poop out a lasso

I shit you knot.