Shampoo

Quick question...

How much of this "No More Tears" shampoo do I have to feed this baby to get it to stop crying?

Do not shampoo in the shower

I don't know why I didn't figure this out sooner. I used shampoo in the shower and when we wash our hair the shampoo runs down our whole body. Printed clearly on the shampoo label is the warning,

"For extra body and volume."

No wonder I have been gaining weight. I got rid of shampoos and start using dish washing liquid. Its label reads

"Dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove."

Follow this and stay slim and trim forever.

What shampoo does Stephen Hawking use? Head & Shoulders.

Head of Company: "We need to stop testing our products on animals." Consultant: "Why? The shampoo companies do it." Head of Company: "Yeah, but we make dildos."

do NOT use shampoo as lube

It will completely fuck with your car

I asked 20 women in my neighborhood about their preferred shampoo

A staggering 100% of them use "Get out of my shower".

Why do astronomers put beef in their shampoo?

for meatier showers.