The Telegram
"Telegram"
Oh boy, I've always wanted a singing telegram!
"Oh, it's not a singing telegram, just a regular telegram"
Oh come on, you can sing it, can't ya?
"I really shouldn't"
How about for $5?
"Ugh... I don't think so"
$10?
"Sir..."
$20?! Come on man, I have wanted a singing telegram all my life. You got to.
"I don't feel comfortable..."
You stupid punk. OK... $50. Can you just sing the stupid telegram?!
"Ok, sir... you asked for it"
"Buh-duh bud-duh, buh-buh... your sister Rose is dead..."
I thought my wife was joking when she said she'd leave me if I didn't stop singing “I'm a Believer”...
Then I saw her face...
If quarantine is knocking you down here are some things you can try to get back up again:
Drink a whiskey drink
Drink a vodka drink
Drink a lager drink
Drink a cider drink
Sing the songs that remind you of the good times
Sing the songs that remind you of the better times
Nothing beats a beautiful girl with a great singing voice!
Except Chris Brown
" doctor I can't stop singing What's New Pussycat."
" I think you might have Tom Jones syndrome."
" is it rare?" " it's not unusual."
My drunk friend got kicked out of Karaoke for singing “Danger Zone” 7 times in a row.
He had exceeded the maximum number of Loggins attempts.
"How much to buy a singing ensemble?"
PRODUCER: You mean a choir?
"Fine, how much to acquire a singing ensemble?"
Wife: Why do you go out in the balcony, when I start singing.
Husband: Because the people would think I am beating you.
Father’s Day Presents..
5 year old son.....after reading story of a king.....
Son:......Mom, I also want 3 wives.....one will cook, one will sing, one will bathe me.......
Mom:....And which one will put you to sleep
Son:..No mom, i will still sleep with you....Mom's eyes filled up with tears ... God bless you son
Mom:...but who will sleep with your 3 wives
Son:....Let them sleep with daddy...
Daddy's eyes filled up with tears... God bless you son !
*Happy Father’s Day!*
My friend asked me to stop singing wonderwall
I said maybe
The urge to sing The Lion Sleeps Tonight is just
a whim away
a whim away
a whim away
a whim away
My wife is a horrible singer .
When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on.
What rock group has four men that don't sing?
Mount rushmore
