Sister jokes

My dad's a magician

Bob: What does your father do for a living?

Joe: He’s a magician. He performs tricks, like sawing people in half.

Bob: Do you have any brothers or sisters?

Joe: Yep, four half-sisters and a half-brother.

Argument

During an argument with my wife, she dropped the old "why did you even marry me?" line.

Apparently "Your sister was already taken" was not the right answer.

Daughter

Daughter: "Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?"

Father: "Ask your sister.”

Daughter: "I don't have a si-"

Dad

Dad explained the difference between theory and reality.

Dad told me to ask mom if she would sleep with the neighbor for one million dollars. Mom said she would. Dad then told me to ask my sister if she would sleep with the neighbor for one million dollars. Sis said she would. Dad said right. In theory, we are sitting on two million dollars. In reality, we are living with two whores.

Birth

What does a microorganism say when they give birth to their sister?

OW! My toe sis.

Name

It’s just the worst thing ever when you shout the wrong name during sex.

I accidentally shouted out my sister’s name last week...

My mum was not happy!

Johnny

Little Johnny, the magician's son

"What's your father's occupation?" asked the schoolteacher.

"He's a magician, ma'am," said Little Johnny.

"How interesting. What's his favorite trick?" asked the teacher.

"He saws people in half," answered Little Johnny.

"Wow! That must be amazing to watch," said the teacher. "Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

And Little Johnny said, "One half brother and two half sisters."

Funeral

When I was 16 my bestfriend got super mad at me once and wouldnt talk to me for nearly 4 months for smelling his sisters underwear.

Idk if it was because she was still wearing them or that there was a lot of people around us, but either way, it made the rest of the funeral super awkward