Sister jokes

Dad

I asked my Dad, "Dad, what did you want to do when you were my age?"

"Your mom's sister."

Wife

“Ever since she lost her job, my wife’s identical twin sister is living with us until she gets on her feet”

I told my friend.

He asked “just want to know , how do you tell them apart ?”

“ why should I ?”

The Telegram

"Telegram"

Oh boy, I've always wanted a singing telegram!

"Oh, it's not a singing telegram, just a regular telegram"

Oh come on, you can sing it, can't ya?

"I really shouldn't"

How about for $5?

"Ugh... I don't think so"

$10?

"Sir..."

$20?! Come on man, I have wanted a singing telegram all my life. You got to.

"I don't feel comfortable..."

You stupid punk. OK... $50. Can you just sing the stupid telegram?!

"Ok, sir... you asked for it"

"Buh-duh bud-duh, buh-buh... your sister Rose is dead..."

My sister and girlfriend have the same name

I think its a bit disgusting when everytime we have sex I think about my girlfriend

Fridge

There were two sisters, one called Petal and one called Fridge.

One day, Petal asks her parents, "Why did you call me Petal?" and they replied "Because when you were a baby, a petal fell on you." And then Fridge says "bllaaarrarararraraaarg".

The Rodeo...

So two cowboys are talking about sex and the various positions when one of them mentions "the Rodeo."

So the second cowboy says to him, "I didn't know the Rodeo was a sex position. How do you do that one?"

The first cowboy explains. "So what you do is you penetrate your girl from behind. Then you reach around and grab her boobs, lean over, and whisper in her ear, 'These are almost as big as your sister's.' Then you try and hold on for 30 seconds."

Something

My sister asked me to bring her something hard to write on.

Still don't know why she got so mad. It's pretty fucking hard to write on sand.

Catholic

Maria, a devout Catholic, got married and had 15 children. After her first husband died, she remarried and had 15 more children. A few weeks after her second husband died, Maria also passed away. At Maria's funeral, the priest looked skyward and said, "At last, they're finally together." Her sister sitting in the front row said, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean she and her first husband, or she and her second husband?" The priest replied, "I mean her legs." -

Girl

One day a girl realised she was growing hair between her legs

She asked her mom what it was and her mom replied back 'the part where the hair is growing is called your monkey. Be proud that your monkey is growing hair'

During dinner she told her sister that her monkey had grown hair and the sister replied 'that's nothing, mine is already eating bananas'

Karl Marx

Everyone has heard of the historical figure, Karl Marx.

But no one remembers his sister, Onya, who invented the starting pistol.

Son

Son: Mom, why is my sister called Teresa?

Mom: Because Teresa is an Anagram of Easter and we love Easter!

Son: Oh I see. Thanks mom!

Mom: My pleasure Alan.

Man

A man walks into the store to buy condoms

Cashier: This is your third time buying condoms this week! What's your secret?

Man: what can I say, the ladies love me. In fact , Ive probably slept with every girl in this county except my sister and my mother.

Cashier: Huh. Well between the two of us we've got 'em all then!

I caught my sister masturbating with a cucumber...

I said "Woah what are you doing?! I was gonna eat that later....now its gonna be all disgusting and cucumbery"

Friend

My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister's panties. I don't know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearing them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way, it made the funeral a bit awkward.