Decision jokes

My dad always told me to find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and marry her.

She knows how to make bad decisions and stick to them.

A man lost his penis in a car accident...

He's obviously devastated. Although a lawsuit after the accident wins him £9000. During a check up with the doctor he is offered an experimental procedure. They can read build his penis at the price of £1000 per inch. Extatic, he tells the doctor he will discuss it with his wife and return tomorrow with an answer. The next day comes round and the doctor asks what the decision is. The man replies dejected "we are getting a new kitchen".

I cannot moderate myself at all. It's either I don't take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions, decisions...

My wife gave me an ultimatum. It was either her or my addiction to sweets.

The decision was a piece of cake.

A mosquito landed on my wife's face while she was asleep

Easiest decision of my life

The companies that dropped Johnny Depp must really regret their decisions

They shouldn't have followed the Heard

My girlfriend really wants me to quit my job. She says that it is cruel that we do product testing on animals.

We’ve argued back and forth for months, and it is a very tough decision for me since I don’t have a formal education. Every day I come home from work, she becomes more and more distant. I also just got a 20% raise, and will finally be able to give my future family the life they deserve. Last night she gave me an ultimatum, her or my job.

What should I do? I love my girlfriend, but I also love my job at the hammer factory.

My sisters and I met yesterday to discuss whether or not to bury or cremate our mother..

We couldn’t come to a decision between the two so we are letting her live for now.