Osama Bin Laden’s son comes home from school crying...
He asks him: “What’s wrong son, what happened?”
“The teacher asked the class what the tallest building in New York is, and I got the answer wrong.”
“Why, what did you answer?”
“The Empire State Building.”
“Don’t worry son, daddy will take care of it.”
President Biden has announced water is now only legal in three states.
Solid, liquid and gas.
Why is Donald Trump moving to Egypt?
To live in a state of de Nile.
My dad bought himself a new hearing aid.
"It's state of the art," he boasted. "Cost me a fortune."
"Awesome," I replied. "What kind is it?"
"Two-thirty."
A guy and a girl are in the same programming class..
Out of nowhere, the guy reaches over and grabs the girl's breast.
Disturbed, the girl looks at the guy and says "What are you doing!? Those are private!"
He only states "How is that? We're in the same class."
A mugger
Late one night, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your money," he demanded. Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can't do this, I'm a United States Congressman!" "In that case," replied the mugger, "give me MY money."
What state has the smallest soft drinks?
Minisoda
Record low temperatures causing snow and freezing all over the southern United States.
Finally: white people in Texas are having problems with ICE.
Breasts are like beer...
Men may state a preference, but we'll take whatever's on tap.
What state is Lake Michigan in?
In liquid state 😛
Why are there ornamental cannons on the state house lawns?
They are a monument to the state employees. They don't work and are impossible to fire.
Did you know toothpaste was invented in the southern states?
otherwise it’d be called teethpaste.
My body is in a disgusting, embarrassing, totally repulsive state right now
New Jersey, I'm in New Jersey
If trump wins the election, I will leave the United States
If Biden wins the election, I will leave the United States
This is not a political post, I just want to travel
Recreational marijuana is legal in 10 out of the 50 states.
That's 4/20th of the United States.
A man was arrested for telling a joke which called Vladimir Putin stupid.
He was tried and sentenced to 15 years and 3 months in a work camp.
When asked about the strangely specific sentence, the judge explained that he gave 3 months for insulting the president, and 15 years for divulging state secrets.