two hardcore trump supporters die and ascend to heaven.
God meets them at the pearly gates and asks if they have any questions. One of them says, “yes, what were the real results of the 2020 election and who was behind the fraud?”.
God says, "my son, there was no fraud. Biden won the electoral college fair and square, 306 to 232”.
After a few seconds of stunned silence, the one guy turns to the other and whispers, “This goes higher up than we thought”.
Doctor's orders for more peace in your life
A doctor on TV said that in order to have inner peace in our lives after this election, we should always finish things we start. Since we all could use more calm in our lives, I looked around my house to find things I'd started and hadn't finished.
I finished a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiuminun scriptins, an a box a choclutz. Yu has no idr how fablus I feel rite now.
There are some eerie similarities between the assassinations of President Lincoln and Kennedy...
Lincoln was elected into Congress in 1846. JFK was elected into Congress in 1946.
Lincoln was elected President in 1860. JFK was elected President in 1960.
Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy. Kennedy had a secretary named Lincoln.
A week before he died, Lincoln was in Monroe, Maryland. A week before he died, Kennedy was in Marilyn Monroe.
--- Credit goes to the play: The Complete History of America: Abridged
Waiting for election results is like waiting for a grade on a group project.
I know I did my part right, but I am worried the rest of you screwed it up.
It shouldn't be surprising our first black president was elected prior to Trump
It's always darkest before Don
Daddy, do all fairy tales start with Once upon a time?
No dear, there’s a whole series of fairly tales that start with “If elected, I promise”.
If some part of your job feels utterly pointless, remember
Putin campaigned for the 2018 elections.
Trump is reportedly upset that the Ukraine just elected a comedian as president.
Oh, Crimea river!
You know the problem with political jokes?
Sometimes they get elected.
Covid is not a joke and should be taken seriously
A former patient was so brain damaged afterwards, he wrongly believed he'd won an election he actually lost by millions of votes.
If trump wins the election, I will leave the United States
If Biden wins the election, I will leave the United States
This is not a political post, I just want to travel
I was going to post a joke about free and fair elections....
But I’m not sure the Americans will get it.