A guy just finishes his lasik surgery and his surgeon leads him in his office to discuss the surgery...
The surgeon asks if he wants the good news or bad news first.
The man excitedly ~~replys~~ replies, "I'll take the good news first."
The surgeon tells him, "well you're about to get a new dog."
How I lost my Teeth
I was in my local pub last night enjoying a nice cold pint of beer, when this butt ugly fat bird came up to me and slapped me in the back, and said “how about giving me your number handsome”
I looked at her and asked “Do you have a pen” “sure!” She said.
So I said, “ Well you better get back in it before the farmer notices you’re missing!”
My dental surgery is this Friday!.
I told the doctor I didn’t want brain surgery. But he changed my mind.
Blind man goes for surgery
A man blind from birth hears about new surgery that can give him sight. He goes to the doctor who tells him he can do the surgery. He asks if being able to see will have any negative impacts on his life.
"Well," the doctor says. "You won't be able to maintain an erection."
"Is that a common side effect from the surgery," the blind man asks.
"No," says the doctor. "It's just that your wife is ugly."
Remember when plastic surgery was a taboo subject
Now when you mention Botox, nobody raises an eyebrow.
A plastic surgeon at Johns Hopkins just performed surgery on a child born without eyelids, circumcising him and replaced the missing lids with the harvested tissue. The boy's new eyelids work almost perfectly and, since they were made from his own tissue, rejection won't be a problem.
When speaking to reporters, though, the surgeon admitted that the boy does look a little cockeyed.
i have a lot of respect for trans women
that surgery takes balls!
Operation successful
An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting a complicated surgery on him and.....
he insisted that his son-in-law, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anaesthesia, he spoke to his son-in-law.
'Yes, Dad, what is it?'
'Don't be nervous son; do your best and just remember, if something happens to me.........
........your mother in law will come and live with you.'
The surgery was a great success....
Pain.
Two young boys are waiting for their surgery...
“What operation are you having done?”
“Getting my tonsils out, what about you?”
“Circumcision”
“Oh that’s bad, I had that done when I was born and I couldn’t walk for a year”
I need to have surgery, because of my cicumcision.
I was born without eyelids, so the doctor said to my mom "all we have to do is circumcise him, and we can make eyelids out of his foreskin." Long story short, I've been cock eyed ever since, I have great fore sight though.
Before my surgery, my doctor offered to put me under with gas, or just knock me out with a boat paddle...
It was an ether/oar situation