Trump jokes

Why hasn't Donald Trump ever finished a book?

Because he keeps repeating Chapter 11.

Trump actually attended Biden's inauguration

He was the crying baby you heard right before Biden took his oath

Why is Donald Trump moving to Egypt?

To live in a state of de Nile.

If Trump and Hillary are both drowning and you could only save one...

What type of sandwich would you make?

Donald Trump is receiving a CoViD-19 briefing in the Oval Office.

The head of the CDC tells the president that today 14 Brazilian people have died from the virus.

Trump shouts “Oh my GOD!” and slams his head down in his hands on the Resolute Desk. He begins to weep.

After a minute or so, he collects himself, looks up from his desk, and asks his advisors, “How many is a ‘brazillion?’”

Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton and Jeb Bush jump of a bridge. They do a race who hits the ground first. Who wins?

Society

Why did Trump hold his press conference at the 4-seasons garden centre, between a sex shop and a crematorium?

Because he was between a cock and a charred place.

"Mr. Trump, have you changed your plans for mass deportation?"

"No, I have not. I will deport 11 million undocumented immigrants and two dogs."

"Why the two dogs?"

"See? Nobody cares about the immigrants!"

What's the difference between Trump and Hitler?

Hitler had the decency to kill himself after he lost.

What is Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination

Trump is reportedly upset that the Ukraine just elected a comedian as president.

Oh, Crimea river!

Congratulations to Donald J. Trump for winning

the silver medal in the 2020 U.S. Presidential race!

If Biden unfucks any more of Trump's mistakes any faster...

There'll be no Ivanka and Jr. by Sunday.

What does trump call the loose skin around a vagina?

A woman

I'm voting for Trump...

I've never seen a president assassinated.

What's all the fuss about Donald Trump's Russian Ties?

I know for a fact that all his Ties are made in China.

BAD NEWS

President Trump awakens one Winter morning to discover someone has peed “Impeach Trump” in the snow. He calls the Secret Service to investigate.

When they return, they tell the President that they have bad news and even worse news. The bad news is that it’s Vice President Pence’s urine. This infuriates the President, who then asks what could be worse than that.

The Secret Service informs them that it’s Melania’s handwriting.

Trump still has a chance at 270

All he has to do is lose 50lbs.

I am voting for Donald Trump because he will personally end racism in America...

Racism can't exist if everybody's white.

I live in constant fear that Trump will deport my Latina mother in law

Who lives at 324 3rd st. Los Angeles. She gets off at 6