Virus jokes

I like my women how I like my computer.

On my lap. Turned on. Virus free.

President Trump has tested positive for COVID-19

Doctors are expecting a swift recovery, citing that the virus is a hoax and fake news.

US President Donald Trump tested and was not infected by the Corona virus. Experts from the Robert Koch Institute are not surprised.

The virus has been shown to affect lungs, not assholes.

My girlfriend dissapeared when she got a virus on her computer one day and never came back.

I guess she Ransomware..

So Boris Johnson has tested positive for COVID-19...

Anyone else concerned with how quickly the virus has jumped from human to politician?

Donald Trump is receiving a CoViD-19 briefing in the Oval Office.

The head of the CDC tells the president that today 14 Brazilian people have died from the virus.

Trump shouts “Oh my GOD!” and slams his head down in his hands on the Resolute Desk. He begins to weep.

After a minute or so, he collects himself, looks up from his desk, and asks his advisors, “How many is a ‘brazillion?’”

I like my women how I like my Corona viruses

Easy to get, quick to spread and leaving me out of breath

I recently bought my pet duck a mask, to protect it from corona virus...

It’s nothing flashy, but it fits the bill