Wheel

What do you call a wheel that you wear?

A tire

A woman calls 911 and paramedics rush her unconscious husband to the hospital She limps into the ER as the nurses wheel him in on a stretcher,

his enormous erection clearly visible under the sheet. The doctor runs some tests and says to her "Ma'am, it appears your husband overdosed on Viagra and is in a coma. How long has he been like this?"

"About 4 days" she replies

"4 days?! Why did you wait until now to get help?"

"I ran out of lube this morning"

A man buys his wife a beautiful diamond ring for xmas.

After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles." "She did," he replied. "But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?"

Recently, i’ve tried to make a car without wheels.

I’ve been working on it tirelessly.

A pirate walks into a bar with a peg leg, an eyepatch, a parrot on his shoulder and a steering wheel in his pants.

The bartender says, “you’ve got a steering wheel in your pants”.

The pirate replies with, “arrr, I know, it’s driving me nuts!”.

My hamster died today.

He fell asleep at the wheel.

What car has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.

^^^^^sorry.

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants...

The bartender looks over and says, "Get the fuck out of my bar, we're sick of hearing this goddamn joke."