Wheelchair

My girlfriend left me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

What is the hardest thing to chew while eating a vegetable?

The wheelchair

A guy is sitting in a bar drinking.

After some couple of drinks he tries to stand up and he falls. He crawls to the door of the bar and tries to stand up and he falls again, he crawls until he reaches the door in his house and he tries to stand but then for the third time he falls again. He then decides to knock on the door while he is on the ground. His wife opens the door and surprised she asks him, "Where the hell did you leave your wheelchair?"

I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair

I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling. ~ Michael Kosta

A drunk is in a bar, lying on the floor and looking the worse for wear. Other bar patrons decide to be good samaritans and to take him home. They pick him up off the floor, and drag him out the door. On the way to the car, he falls down three times. When they get to his house, they help him out of the car and he falls down four more times. Mission accomplished, they prop him against the door jam and ring the doorbell. "Here's your husband!" they exclaim proudly. "Where's his wheelchair?" asks the puzzled wife....

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?

Virgin Mobile

Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday; the ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.

To the wheelchair-bound thief who took my camouflage jacket: You can hide, but you can't run.

I went to a faith healer last night and he was fucking shit,

even the bloke in the wheelchair got up and walked out!