Witness jokes

My local drug dealer started dressing up as a Jehovah’s Witness so he wouldn’t arouse suspicion.

He got arrested after the police saw people actually letting him in.

An Apple store I was at today just got robbed.

I guess that makes me an iWitness.

Good Kid!

A father had a rather dim-witted son. One day, the son came home from school. His father asked him, "How was school, son?" His son replied, "Great dad! My teacher asked a question, and only I could answer!" His father was overjoyed. He probed, "Good kid! What was the question?"

His son replied, "She asked, 'Who farted?' "

I've been told by people I light up a room

According to police it's called arson and those people are "witnesses"

What do you take care of after a car crash? The witnesses.

TIL Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate halloween..

guess they don't appreciate random people knocking on their doors

Jehova

This morning someone was ringing the doorbell, so I opened the door and there was a young man standing there. "Hello sir" he said, "I'm a Jehova's Witness". I invited him in, offered him something to drink and we sat down in the living room. "So, what would you like to talk about?" I asked. He looked up from his cup of tea and said "To be honest sir, I havn't got the faintest idea, I never made it this far..."

Ever wonder how a Jehovah’s Witness spreads their word during Covid?

Now that you’re here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?

I witnessed my shoelaces fight today...

It was a tie...

I witnessed an attempted murder earlier...

Luckily only one crow showed up...

What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness with a Hell's Angel?

Someone who knocks on your door and tells *you* to fuck off.