Alphabet

Guy gets pulled over by the cops.

Cop: It seems you have been drinking.

Could you say the alphabet starting with "M".

Guy: No problem. "Malphabet."

Why was E the only letter in the alphabet to get Christmas presents?

Because the rest of the letters are not-E.

I really wish people would start taking Covid more seriously...

I don't wanna have to learn the entire Greek alphabet.

When I noticed "HI" in the alphabet I thought I had made a new friend

But then I saw the next two letters.

I just ate four cans of alphabet soup...

...and just had the largest vowel movement ever.

Why did the pirate take so long learning the alphabet

Because he spent years at C

Did you hear they changed the font of alphabet soup?

Now it is Times New Ramen

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I". Student: I is the.... Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I". Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

Why is C the only good letter in the English alphabet?

Because the others are Not-Cs

The divorce lawyer told me to get my affairs in order.

I said alphabetically or by age

If I could rearrange the alphabet I’d move U

Cuz you’re blocking the TV

Why can’t water say the whole alphabet?

It only knows H to O