Letter jokes

Did you know if you jumble up the letters of "Postmen"

They get really angry!

Poor Prince Phillip...

99 years old, he just missed out on getting a letter from his wife.

Several thousand letters were just delivered to me

That's the last time I order a fucking dictionary from IKEA.

I wanted to volunteer and do something good this holiday season...

So I helped these dyslexic kids write letters to Satan.

I only know 25 letters...

I don't know Y

All the proof you need.

A man went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbor owes me $500 and he won’t pay up. What should I do?"

"Do you have any proof he owes you the money?" asked the lawyer.

"Nope," replied the man.

"OK, then write him a letter asking him for the $5,000 he owed you," said the lawyer.

"But it's only $500," replied the man.

"Precisely. That’s what he will reply and then you’ll have your proof!"

Why was E the only letter in the alphabet to get Christmas presents?

Because the rest of the letters are not-E.

What's long, hard and bendable and contains the letters p, e, n, i, s?

Your spine

Me - “What’s a 3 letter word for compete?”

Dracula - “Vie.”

Me - “It’s for a crossword.”

I saw this on Twitter(@clichedout) and it made me smile so hopefully someone else will get a kick out of it.

What’s a three letter word that starts with gas?

Car

A man is doing a crossword and asks his wife for help.

Husband: Body of water, three letters.

Wife: Bay.

Husband: Flying insect with stinger, three letters.

Wife: Bee.

Husband: To hush someone, four letters.

Wife: shhh.

Husband: Boat Noah built, three letters.

Wife: Ark.

Husband: DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO

My cousins are like the letter K.

They are ok by themselves, but when three of them get together, they are just horribly racist.

When Canada was first unified, they realized they needed a name for this new country, so they decided to draw letters oot of a basket to name it.

The first prime minister went up on stage and started pulling letters and announcing them to the crowd. "C, eh?"..."N, eh?"..."D, eh?"

One single day is all I lasted as a Mailman. Turned up on time in my shiny new uniform, was handed a letter and thought to myself..

.. this isn't for me.

In Britain, when you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen.

And when you turn 16, you get a text from Prince Andrew.

Grandpa joke: What becomes shorter when you add 2 letters?

Short

I got a letter that was just addressed to "You Idiot".

What bothers me is that the post office knew where to deliver it.

What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig

the letter “f”

"Boy, I'm scared," a man said to one of his friends,

"I got a letter from a guy who said he'd break my legs if I didn't stop seeing his wife." "Well," replied his friend, "I guess you'll have to stop seeing his wife." "Easy for you to say," the first guy said. "You like her that much?" the friend asked. "It's not that," declared the man, "He didn't sign his name."

Someone told me that you can let out all your anger by writing letters about everyone you hate and then burning them... But I was just wondering... should I keep the letters?