Black jokes

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 was black.

Be careful today when searching "Giant Black Hole Pics"

All I keep getting are scientific articles.

I took my Biology exam last Friday

I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were NOT the correct answers.

A guy goes in an Adult Store in Western Sydney and asks for an inflatable doll.

The guy behind the counter says, “Male or female ?”

The customer says, “Female.”

The counter guy asks, “Black or white?”

The customer says, “White.”

The counter guy asks, “Christian or Muslim?”

The customer says, “What does religion have to do with it?”

The counter guy says, “The Muslim one blows itself up.”

So I did some research...

and Chinese people like listening to music on their phones with earbuds, black people like portable speakers, Mexicans prefer cheaper systems in their home with big speakers and white people like higher end but compact systems...

Sorry, I guess I shouldn't be discussing racial stereo types.

You know they say orange is the new black

I guess that's why Trump is president

How many police officers does it take to change a light bulb?

They don't. They're too busy arresting the light bulb for being broke and beating the room for being black.

I put a black hole in my living room.

It's great. Really pulls the room together.

So I was at the Library today

.. And a black Gentleman came over to me and asked where the coloured printer was. I replied "Man its 2016 you can use any printer!"

White people don't shoot each other in the streets like black people do.

We do it in schools, because we have class.

What do you call a black guy having a heart attack?

An ambulance.

If I got a dollar everytime someone called me a racist

Black people would rob me

Saw a black guy walking the streets carrying a tv and I thought "is that one mine"?...

... then I remembered it couldn't be mine because mine was mowing the lawn at the moment.

What's a word that starts with an N ends in an R, and is something you never want to call a black person?

Neighbour

In the Harry Potter books, Sirius Black is in his early 30's,

... but in the movies, he look like an Oldman.

A man walks into a bar, takes a seat, and asks the bartender if he wanted to hear a blonde joke. The bartender replies, "Before you tell this joke, I want to tell you something. See the woman over there? She is a black belt in karate, she's blonde. See the bouncer over there? He is also a blonde. See the chick over there with that pool cue? She is also blonde. Also, I have a shotgun behind the bar, and I'm blonde. So, do you still want to tell your joke?" He replies, "Forget that! I ain't explaining the joke four times."

After extensive investigations and many phone calls, the police found that, despite the fact that I’m black, I’ve got a good job, no criminal record and I own the BMW I was driving.

So they arrested me for wasting police time.

A boy says to his dad, "Why do they say gardeners have got green fingers when their fingers aren't green?"

His dad replies, "It's just a saying, son. It's like when someone is caught stealing something, they say that they've been caught red-handed', even though their hands are actually black."

I was at a restaurant and my waitress had a black eye

So I ordered really slow, because she obviously doesn't listen

I want to hire a Mexican, An Italian and a Russian

To show up at my funeral in black suits and say "thank you boss", then leave. Just so that my Family and Friends would think I had something Big going on.