An elderly man is having trouble keeping his balance on the bus
His cane is slipping on the floor. On every turn of the bus, he loses his balance and barely escapes danger of falling. So he starts looking around if someone will give him their seat.
A sitting rebellious type youngster patronizes him: "Hey old man, if you put some rubber on the tip of your cane, you wouldn't have this much trouble."
The old man replies: "Boy, I would be sitting down on this bus if only your father put on that rubber"
A boy walks in on his dad masturbating.
The boy, curious asks him, "Dad, what are you doing?"
The father replies, "This is called masturbating, and pretty soon you will be doing it also."
The kid, puzzled, asks, "How do you know that?"
The father goes "Because my arm is getting tired."
Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers
The first boy says, “My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.”
The second boy says, “That’s nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.”
The third boy says, “I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!”
My son is a boy trapped in a womans body
He's coming out in 6 months
Two little boys were known troublemakers, stealing everything they could get their hands, even from the church.
One day a priest stopped one of the boys and asked, "Where is God?" The boy shrugged and the priest repeated, "Where is God?" The boy ran out of the cathedral crying to his home where he hid in a closet. Eventually his brother found him and asked, "What's wrong?" The crying boy replied, "We're in trouble now! God is missing and they think we took him.
A LADY lost her handbag..
It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her.
Looking in her purse, she commented, “Hmm, that’s funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 note in it. Now there are 20 $1 coins.”
The boy replied, “That’s right, lady. The last time I found a lady’s purse, she didn’t have any change for a reward.”
A little boy kills a butterfly.
Dad says : "No butter for you for a week!"
The little boy then kills a honeybee.
Dad says : "No honey for you for a week!"
Mom kills a cockroach.
The little boy asks : "Are you going to tell her or should I say it for you?"
A six year old boy goes to work with his father on a bring your kid to work day.
After about 30 minutes of arriving the kid starts crying loudly, the whole office gathers around.
The father asks his kid “what’s the matter son?”
The kid replies “where are all the clowns that you say you work with?”
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman.
Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Then why did you eat it?!
I remember when I was a little boy, an old man suddenly stepped out of a time machine and punched me for no reason.
So I've spent all my life working on a time machine, and now that I've built it, I'm going back in time to when he was a little boy, and I'm going to punch him and see how he likes it!
Two boys sitting to pee
Two five year old boys are sitting at the potty to pee.
When one says, " Your thing doesn't have any skin on it!"
" I've been circumcised." Says the second boy.
" What does that mean?"
"It means they cut the protective skin skin off the end."
" How old were you when it was cut off?"
" My mom said that I was two days old."
" Did it hurt?"
" You bet it hurt, I couldn't walk for a whole year!"
Boy: Hey wanna see a movie with me tonight?
Girl: I have a boyfriend.
Boy: and i have a math test tomorrow.
Girl: What does that have to do with anything?
Boy: I thought we were listing things we were going to cheat on.
The pretty teacher was concerned with
one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?"
"I'm in love." the boy replied.
Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?"
"With you!" he said.
"But Johnny," she said gently, "don't you see how silly that is? It's true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don't want a child."
"Oh, don't worry," the boy said reassuringly, "I'll use a condom!"
On Halloween, a little boy dressed as a pirate.
He went up to a house and rang the doorbell. A man answered and said, "Well I'll be, a pirate! But where are your buccaneers?
The little boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."
A boy is watching TV with his father when a sex scene comes on.
"Well son, time for bed," the father says. "But dad, I'm 16 now!" the son complains. The father replies, "I don't care how old you are, you're not watching me masturbate."
A farmer has three daughters who are all going on dates tonight. The doorbell rings and the farmer answers it. The boy says 'Hello I'm Joe, I'm here for Flo. We are going to see a show. Is she ready to go?' so Flo leaves with Joe. The doorbell rings again and the boy says 'Hello I'm Eddy, I'm here for Betty. We are going to eat spaghetti. Is she ready?' so Betty leaves with Eddy. The doorbell rings a third time and the boy says 'Hello I'm Chuck....'. The farmer promptly shot him.
There was a boy playing in the farm field when his mom called him in for breakfast.
On his way in he kicked a cow, pig, and a chicken. So when he gets to the table he sees a dry bowl of cereal. "What's the deal?" he asks. His mom says " You kicked the cow so no milk for you, you kicked the pig so no bacon for you, and you kicked the chicken so no eggs for you." Then his father walks into the kitchen and accidentally kicked the cat. The the boy says "Do you want me to tell him or should you?"
How can you tell a girl ghost from a boy ghost?
Boooooooobs!
You’re welcome.
Happy Halloween everybody!
Pain.
Two young boys are waiting for their
surgery...
“What operation are you having done?”
“Getting my tonsils out, what about you?”
“Circumcision”
“Oh that’s bad, I had that done when I was born
and I couldn’t walk for a year”
Movies are too violent
A lot of Critics have been saying that movies now days are way too violent.
To test this theory I took a nine year old boy to go see Gladiator, and he cried the whole movie.
Now it may be because he didn't know who I was.
