Car door jokes

When one door closes another one opens

“That’s all well and good”, I told the car dealer, “but I’m not buying the car until you fix it!”

My girlfriend was mad because I didn't open the car door for her.

I just swam to the surface.

A man picks up a hitchhiking priest on the highway

Soon after he sees a hitchhiking lawyer on the side of the road. He aims his car towards the lawyer with the intent to run him over, but remembers he has a priest in the car with him and swerves at the last second. He feigns innocence and says to the priest "Oh my God! That was close! I almost ran over that lawyer!", to which the priest replies "That's okay son. I got him with my door."

A drunk is in a bar, lying on the floor and looking the worse for wear. Other bar patrons decide to be good samaritans and to take him home. They pick him up off the floor, and drag him out the door. On the way to the car, he falls down three times. When they get to his house, they help him out of the car and he falls down four more times. Mission accomplished, they prop him against the door jam and ring the doorbell. "Here's your husband!" they exclaim proudly. "Where's his wheelchair?" asks the puzzled wife....

I remember when my dad once gave me money to pay the electricity bill.

Instead, I bought a lottery ticket for a brand new car. When I got home, I explained to my dad what I did and he beat the crap out of me.

But the next day, when my dad woke up and opened the house door, parked outside my house was a brand new car. We all cried; especially me, because the car was from the electricity company and they were there to cut off the electricity, so my dad beat the crap out of me again.

Gender roles are changing. Nowadays some women get mad when you hold a car door open.

Particularly the ones on bikes.

If a man opens the car door for his wife

You can be sure of one thing — either the car is new or the wife is.

Taxi

A drunk guy stops a taxi and opens the door,

"You have space for 10 beer and a whole chicken" he asks the driver

"Sure" the driver replies

"Ok" answers the drunk guy and pukes in the car.

I was walking by a car filled with bIack people and as I came near they locked the door. I felt like such a badass

Then I realized that it was my car..