Cheating

My wife suspected I was cheating, so to catch me she hired a prostitute to flash her breasts and try to seduce me.

I didn't fall for that shit... I can spot a booby trap a mile away.

My girlfriend is cheating on me with a doctor.

Yesterday, I found out my girlfriend is cheating on me with the primary doctor at her hospital. So from now on, I’ll be giving her an apple for lunch everyday. That oughta do the trick.

The Washington Redskins finally decided to drop their offensive name.

Dan Snyder, owner of the NFL Redskins, has announced that the team is dropping "Washington" from the team name, and it will henceforth be simply known as, "The Redskins." It was reported that he finds the word "Washington" imparts a negative image of poor leadership, mismanagement, corruption, cheating, lying, and graft, and is not a fitting role-model for young fans of football.

I think my wife is cheating on me with an undertaker.

I could swear she was wearing clothes when she died.

I messaged my ex on the day before my exam.

I asked if she had any good cheating tips

A woman is reading a book in bed when her husband enters with a sheep under his arm

The husband holds the sheep up to the woman and exclaims: "This is the pig I'm cheating on you with."

The woman, confused by the notion, replies: "But... that's a sheep."

To which the husband shakes his head and says: "I wasn't talking to you."

My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.

A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was, "She was just lying there naked on the table. What was I supposed to do?" The wife replies, "Perform the fucking autopsy!"

A man walks in on his wife cheating on him with his best friend, so he heads to the bar to drown his sorrows.

He walks up to the bar and the bartender notices hes upset so he asks "why the long face?"

"I just caught my wife having sex with my best friend," says the guy.

To which the bartender replies, "thats terrible! What did you say to your wife when you caught her?"

"I told her to pack her stuff and get out of my house immediately."

"Well what did you say to your best friend," asks the bartender.

"Bad boy"

I called my girlfriends cell phone and some other guy answered the phone...

He told me that my phone number was no longer in service and to call the phone company to pay my bill.

First she cheats on me and then she tells him about my financial troubles!

If someone with a toe fetish cheats on you

Does that mean they got off on the wrong foot?

My wife found out I was cheating after she found the letters I was hiding

She got mad and said she is never playing Scrabble with me again!

Boy: Hey wanna see a movie with me tonight?

Girl: I have a boyfriend.

Boy: and i have a math test tomorrow.

Girl: What does that have to do with anything?

Boy: I thought we were listing things we were going to cheat on.