Christmas present

Hi Lads.

Iv'e got a load of Victoria Secret Bra sets just arrived which will make a lovely Christmas present.

If you can send me a picture of your wife's tits, I'll let you know if I have any that will fit.

Merry Christmas..

Why was E the only letter in the alphabet to get Christmas presents?

Because the rest of the letters are not-E.

Just been up in the loft getting the Christmas tree down, and I found a present from last year which we must have forgotten to give to the kids...

...shame really, they would have loved a kitten.

My wife doesn't know this, but I put a dollar in an envelope every time we have sex. This is all I'm spending for her Christmas present.

So far she's getting a McChicken.

A little girl asks her mom, "Why am I getting my Christmas presents in August?"

Her mom replies, "Because it's cheaper than chemotherapy."