Cross jokes

from my 7 y/o: Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide

Why did the sperm cross the street?

Because I put on the wrong socks today

I was waiting for the green light at the crossing and saw an old woman walking with a little child...

The excited child was walking bit faster towards the crossing than the old lady. She then shouted, "Degree, wait for me!" I was so amazed to hear such an unusual name. So to satisfy my curiousity, I walked closer to the woman and asked; "Ma, why do u call your grand child Degree?" The woman laughed and said "I sent her mother to University for education and this is what she brought home instead."

What does a racist joke and crossing the street have in common?

White people look both ways before they start...

An engineer and an anti-vaxxer walk up to a bridge.

Seeing as the bridge is the only crossing over a notoriously crocodile-infested river, the two prepare to cross. Just before they set foot on the bridge the anti-vaxxer halts the engineer. "How safe is it to cross this bridge exactly?" he asks. "99.97%," the engineer replies confidently. The anti-vaxxer thinks for a moment before turning around. "Guess I'm swimming then."

Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge.

One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge. He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head. The procession crosses the bridge and the man puts on his cap, picks up his rod and reel, and continues fishing. The other guy says, "That was touching. I didn't know you had it in you." The first guy responds, "Well, I guess it was the thing to do - after all, I was married to her for 40 years."

A turkey was about to cross the road...

when a chicken appeared and said "dont do that that, you will never hear the end of it"

What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic?

About halfway.

What happens when you cross Islam with Capitalism?

No more jokes about the profit.

I’m reading a book that tries to compare different versions of The Bible.

There is a lot of cross referencing.

Stephen Hawking is such a bad role model for our kids. He only ever looks one way when crossing the street.

Why don't Mexicans cross the border in groups of 3?

The signs say "no trespassing"

What do you get when you cross a pervert with a pirate?

AAARRRRRR Kelly

Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?

He didn’t have the guts to

What do you get when you cross Willy Wonka with stolen fizzy lifting drinks?

You get *NOTHING*! *YOU LOSE*! *GOOD DAY, SIR*!

Two guys stumble out of a bar on night to fight.

The first man draws a line in the dirt and says " if you cross this line i'll punch you"

That was the punch line.

Why did princess Diana cross the road?

Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, agnostic and a dyslexic ?

Someone who lies awake at night, wondering if there's a dog.

Why did the cross eyed teacher quit her job?

Because she couldn't control her pupils.

The U.K. government have predicted that Scotland could become a “third world country” if they gain independence.

I don’t know if things will improve to that extent but fingers crossed for them.