Deaf jokes

A deaf couple are struggling to initiate sex...

A deaf couple is struggling to initiate sex in the dark of night, so they decide to sit down and communicate a work around.

The wife starts writing on a notepad, “If you want to have sex with with me, squeeze my left breast once, and if you don’t want to have sex with me squeeze my right breast once, sound good?”. The husband agrees, and picks up the pen, “If you want to have sex with me, pull my dick once, if you don’t want to have sex with me pull my dick 1,345 times, sound good?”.

My deaf sibling asked if i wanted to hear a joke

I replied “sure”

They said “me too”

I had a deaf girlfriend once, she left me for a guy who was also deaf.

I should have seen the signs.

“I love you loads, honey pie.” My wife said earlier.

“And I love you tons.” I replied.

“What, no nickname for me?” She asked, disappointed.

Sometimes I swear the fat cow’s going deaf.

Two years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf

I haven’t heard from him since.