A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "How you doing today?" the bartender asks
. "Actually, earlier today I was feeling really down. Depressed even," the guy says. "But then I parked in a handicapped stall at the grocery store and then I had a bunch of complete strangers rally around me and tell me there was nothing wrong with me."
I think my wife is starting to get depressed with all this rain we’re getting. Everyday, I see her at the window with a sad look on her face.
If it gets any worse I might have to let her back inside.
What's the difference between math and meth?
Meth is a stimulant, and math is a depressant.
To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, 'cause I'm still here.
Everything disappears in the Bermuda Triangle—except my depression.
What's the difference between a maze and a depressed life? One of them you can find a way out of.
You must be depression because you make me want to kill myself ;)
There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
What's a depressed kid's favorite holiday? Christmas because everything is hanging.
What do depressed people and apples have in common? They both hang from trees.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink? Depresso espresso. JK, bleach.
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree? You cut the rope...
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person? If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
If you think Thursdays are depressing, wait two days
It will be a sadder day
I’ve made a website for depressed tennis players...
The servers are currently down...
If you get seriously depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before you go to bed.
This will give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
It's been raining for 3 days without stopping. My wife is in depression, she is standing and looking through the window.
If the rain doesn't stop tomorrow, I'll have to let her in.
The cure for my depression is right around the corner.
Yes, here comes my train now.
How do you cure depression ?
Love it. Then it will leave you after a while for someone else.