Door jokes

My neighbor was banging on my door at three in the morning.

It's a good fucking thing I was up playing my bagpipes.

What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness with a Hell's Angel?

Someone who knocks on your door and tells *you* to fuck off.

My dad used to say "when one door closes another one opens"

He's a great man... Rubbish cabinet maker though.

I was walking by a car filled with bIack people and as I came near they locked the door. I felt like such a badass

Then I realized that it was my car..

I was having anal sex with my girlfriend. Her father suddenly slammed the door open and started screaming at her. "Dad, I'm sorry!", she said. The father turned to me and, from the top of his lungs, he started screaming: "Are you fucking sorry?"

For an old man's 98th birthday,

his 3 grandsons paid for a hooker and sent her to his home. When the old fella opened the door he asked what a pretty girl like her was doing at his home. She replied "I was sent here as a gift to you" The old man asked "What is it that you do?" Hooker says "Im well known for my super blowjobs" Grampa says "Since I aint had a hard on in 10 yrs, I guess I'll have to settle for the soup"

What do hobbit homes with no entrances need?

More doors.

So a cop knocked on my door this morning.

He asked, 'sir we believe your dog has been chasing a boy up the road on his bike.'

I replied, 'sorry officer, you must have the wrong house. My dog doesn't own a bike.'

An Asian man walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 2000 yen and walked out with $72.

The following week, he walked in with 2000 yen, and was handed $66. He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week.

The teller said "Fluctuations."

The Asian man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, "Fuck you Americans too!"