Little Johnny was sitting in class behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" The teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down. The teacher then asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" The teacher says, "Yes, Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gives Little Johnny an angry glare, turns around, and then, the teacher asks, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time, and Sally jumps, turns around, and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.
Why does the Earth make fun of the moon?
Because it has no life
Astronomers got tired after watching the moon go around the earth for 24 hours...
So they decided to call it a day
There must be another planet somewhere with worms.
Otherwise why would we call ours “Earth” worms
Why does moon rock taste better than earth rock?
It's a little meteor.
What did the preacher say at the vegetable mass?
“Lettuce pray for peas on Earth.”
Then
“Why do I bother with puns, everyone here’s brain dead.”
I found an alien masturbating in my freezer last night. I asked him what on earth he was doing in there.
He said, “I cum in peas.”
Earth can not be flat
Because if it was cats would have pushed everything from the edge
I got an e-mail saying “At Google Earth, we can even read maps backwards”, and I thought...
“That’s just spam”
On Earth, science is driven by curiosity
On Mars, Curiosity is driven by scientists.
I made the Earth move for the last girl I had sex with.
And then I moved it back to the hole I had buried her in.
What did E.T.'s mother say to him when he got home?
"Where on Earth have you been?!"
I debated a flat earther once
he stormed off saying he'd walk to the edge of the earth to prove me wrong.
He'll come around, eventually.
I love the way the Earth rotates
It really makes my day
Congratulations to the winner of last night's presidential debate!
The Voyager probe, flying away from Earth at an estimated 62000 km per hour.
