Earth

Moon

Why does the Earth make fun of the moon?

Because it has no life

Astronomer

Astronomers got tired after watching the moon go around the earth for 24 hours...

So they decided to call it a day

Planet

There must be another planet somewhere with worms.

Otherwise why would we call ours “Earth” worms

Moon rock

Why does moon rock taste better than earth rock?

It's a little meteor.

Lettuce

What did the preacher say at the vegetable mass?

“Lettuce pray for peas on Earth.”

Then

“Why do I bother with puns, everyone here’s brain dead.”

I found an alien masturbating in my freezer last night. I asked him what on earth he was doing in there.

He said, “I cum in peas.”

Cat

Earth can not be flat

Because if it was cats would have pushed everything from the edge

Map

I got an e-mail saying “At Google Earth, we can even read maps backwards”, and I thought...

“That’s just spam”

Science

On Earth, science is driven by curiosity

On Mars, Curiosity is driven by scientists.

Little Johnny was sitting in class behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" The teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down. The teacher then asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" The teacher says, "Yes, Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gives Little Johnny an angry glare, turns around, and then, the teacher asks, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time, and Sally jumps, turns around, and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.