Expense jokes

Why are airbags so expensive?

Because of inflation.

I don’t usually brag about going to expensive places

But I just left the gas station.

I shouldn't make jokes at the expense of my anti-vax neighbours so much...

They tend to get offended by those hurtful little jabs

The cost of living has now become so expensive.....

....that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford the batteries.

My wife was mad at my impulse purchase of an expensive revolving chair, but then she sat on it.

Eventually she came around.

This is actually a true story, when I was 17 I had a choice to study in Canada or the USA. I chose Canada because it was less expensive

In retrospect I dodged a bullet, maybe multiple bullets

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks

It cost me an arm and a leg!

Do you know why insulin has gotten so expensive?

Well, it’s not called Liveabetes, now is it?

An old drunk was at the bar when...

He saw this beautiful woman drinking alone at the corner of the bar alone. So he waved the bartender over and ask the bartender to send a bottle of the most expensive champagne to the woman.

The bartender, "nah, I wouldn't bother with that. She's a lesbian." But the old drunk insisted.

A short while later, the old drunk sauntered over to the woman, "So...which part of Lesbia are you from?"

“Fucking kids are expensive”, I said

“Is”, my lawyer replied.

We, the taxpayers, keep paying to send Trump on very expensive trips overseas.

It might be worth it too, except he keeps coming back.

I bumped into an old school friend today. He started showing off, talking about his well paid job and expensive sports car.

Then he pulled out a photo of his wife and said, "She's beautiful, isn't she?"

I said, "If you think she's gorgeous, you should see my girlfriend."

He said, "Why? Is she a stunner?"

I said, "No, she's a fucking optician."