Ghost

I found out my girlfriend is really a ghost.

I had my suspicions the moment she walked through the door.

Why do ghosts hate working out?

Because they have to exorcise

What kind of rooms do ghosts avoid?

Living rooms

What religion do ghosts adhere to?

Boodhism

So my oilfield is haunted, turned out quite profitable...

Now I can sell Super-Natural Gas!

A police officer pulls over an elderly woman on the highway.

“Ma’am”, the officer says, “I clocked you at 22 mph. The minimum speed on the highway is 45 mph.”

“But I just saw a 20 mph speed limit sign,” the woman replies.

Chuckling, the officer explains to the woman that the sign she saw was for interstate 20.

He notices that the woman’s husband is pale as a ghost and visibly shaken. “What’s the matter with him?” he asks.

She answers, “We just got off of interstate 195.”

A man's car gets haunted by a ghost

So he decided to go to a priest to get it removed.

The priest performs the exorcism, and it works! He successfully removes the ghost from the car. He says to the man "That'll be $250." The man refuses to pay, and so a couple weeks later his car gets repossessed.

How can you tell a girl ghost from a boy ghost?

Boooooooobs!

You’re welcome.

Happy Halloween everybody!

Did you hear about the drug dealer's ghost?

He was arrested for *possession.*