Hate jokes

I hate that ATMs don't dispense coins.

It just doesn't make cents.

Why do people in Athens hate getting up early?

Because Dawn is tough on Greece

My wife really hates that I have no sense of direction.

So I packed my things and right.

I hate when people say my skirt looks slutty..

Like, who cares if my balls hang out a little?

Don't you hate it when a teacher lies and says the homework will be a piece of cake?

It always tastes like paper.

Why don't Natzis participate in triathlons?

Because they hate mixed races.

I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say black paint

You have to say

Leroy, please paint that wall

My boss really hates it when I shorten his name to Dick...

Mostly because his name is Steve...

Officer 1: This murder seems racially motivated.

Officer 2: Hate crime?

Officer 1: Of course I hate crime, idiot. That’s why I became a cop.

I hate to admit it, but my wife's cooking has seriously improved.

......that was best slice of soup I've ever had!

I hate it when people think they can just waltz into my room..

When what I’m listening to is clearly in 4/4

I hate it when people ask me where I'll be in 5 years.

I don't have 2020 vision.

Laughing Dog

A man walks into the cinema with a dog. They start watching the movie (a comedy) and laugh and laugh all the way through it. When the lights go up, a woman who was sitting in the row behind tapped the man on the shoulder and said: " I must say I was really surprised to hear your dog laughing all through the film. "So was I" replied the man, " He hated the book!"

I hate waiting in lines... I wish this woman...

...would hurry up and pick a suspect.

Why do neo-nazis drink milk?

Because they hate juice

I hate it when people make fun of the disabled

They can't even stand up for themselves

My ex hated when I started dating her twin sister.

Like it's my fault they're conjoined.

My wife recently became a crossing guard at our sons school.

She hates when I ask how the child trafficking is going.

Man "I hate the world and everyone in it. I have no patience for it. It's starting to make me sick". Wife: "what do you think about me?"

Man: "oh you mean the world to me, darling".

Why do Indians hate snow?

It's white and it's on their land.