World

Why is Korea the greenest county in the world?

It's full of Parks.

Your mom is so ugly...

That the world faked a pandemic just so she has to wear a mask

They say that the 10 types of people in this world are those that can read binary and those that get laid.

Can someone explain to me the other 8 types?

What is the most influential culture in the world?

Agriculture.

My cock was actually in the Guinness Book of World Records once...

But it really pissed off the librarian and she kicked me out!

Car company executives must have the best memories in the world

because GM recalls everything.

What is the least spoken language in the world?

Sign language

How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They will never allow change, even if it makes the world a brighter place.

Police have arrested the World tongue-twister Champion.

I imagine he'll be given a tough sentence.

Many homosexuals went into battle in World War I.

Only a few came out

A man had a portal to a secret world in his house

Every night he would step through the portal and leave his chatty wife, screaming kids and dirty dog behind. He would be completely alone and calm. But then his feet would cramp up and he had to wipe his ass and get back to reality.

My penis was once in the Guiness Book of World Records

But the librarian made me take it out.

Bernie Sanders confronted the head of the NSA and asked him why they are still illegally surveilling Americans.

The guy replied, “Some people just like to watch the world, Bern.”

An angel appears in a puff of smoke to a man and says to him, "Because you have lived a good and virtuous life, I can offer you a gift: you can be the most handsome man in the world, or you can have infinite wisdom, or you can have limitless wealth." Reflecting, the man says, "I'll take the wisdom"

"Wisdom is yours," says the angel, disappearing in another puff. The smoke is barely clear before the man thinks, "I should have taken the money."

My gay friend just came out a couple of weeks ago.

Now the whole world is telling them to go back and stay inside.

Why is Ireland the wealthiest country in the world?

because its capital is always dublin.

Did you know that 97% of the world is stupid?

Luckily im in the other 5%

My friend is convinced he has the biggest balls in the world

He's so egotestical.

Superman is flying around the world when he sees WonderWoman tanning on the beach....

He notices that she's naked and spread eagle and has a thought.

Superman: I bet I could fly down there and have sex with her and fly away before she even knew it. So like a depraved bastard he does exactly that and hears a conversation as he flies away.

Wonderwoman: Did you feel that strong gust of wind just now?

Invisible Man: Yeah, and on top of that my ass is killing me.

The world’s biggest gender reveal party happened way back in 1945

When Japan found out the US had a Little Boy

The Deadliest Job in WW2

My high school assignment was to ask a veteran about World War II. Since my father had served in the Philippines during the war, I chose him. After a few basic questions, I very gingerly asked, “Did you ever kill anyone?”

Dad got quiet. Then, in a soft voice, he said, “Probably. I was the cook.”

China should be a baseball team because they can take out the whole world with just a bat.

A young boy enters a barber shop, and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.

"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"

The boy licks his cone and replies:

"Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!"

My flat earther friend decided to prove his theory by walking to the end of the world

In the end, he came around.

Which is Coronavirus’ favorite novel?

Around the world in eighty days.