Hate jokes

I hate French people

They give me the crepes

I have a great joke about social anxiety.

Who am I kidding? You'll hate it.

A mean teacher wanted to show his class he meant business.

So he asked, "If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up." After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. "Now then, mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" Inquired the teacher with a sneer. "Well, actually I don't," said the student, "But I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."

Why does Spiderman hate driving with his evil twin?

Because he’s a bad parallel Parker

I hate meeting dads.

That's why I only date black girls.

When my wife suggested getting a white noise machine for the bedroom, I was initially ok with it.

Then I realized I hate country music.

I hate spheres.

Why do they even exist? There’s no point.

Someone told me that you can let out all your anger by writing letters about everyone you hate and then burning them... But I was just wondering... should I keep the letters?

What game does an emo hate the most? Cut the Rope.

What show does an orphan hate? Family Guy.

"I hate going to weddings because the old lady next to you always whispers in your ear, 'You're next.' So I started doing the same to them at funerals, 'You're next.'"

I absolutely hate donating blood. As soon as you walk through the door you get bombarded with questions.

I absolutely hate when they ask “Where did you get it?” “Why is it in a bucket?”

I hate circles.

They're pointless.

My friend told me he hated blue cheese because it's literally just cheese with bacteria.

I told him to stop discriminating against other cultures.

I called “Shotgun” long before anyone else did, but I had to still sit in the back seat.

I hate cops.

A Jewish man and a Chinese man strike up a conversation...

Before long they're arguing...

Jewish man: "You know what? I hate you."

Chinese man: "For what?"

Jewish man: "Pearl Harbor!"

Chinese man: "That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!"

Jewish man: "eh, Japanese, Chinese what's the difference?"

Chinese man: "Well, you kow what? I hate you."

Jewish man: "For what?!?"

Chinese man: "The Titanic!"

Jewish man: "An iceberg sunk the Tatanic!"

Chinese man: "eh, Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"

So I caught my girlfriend masturbating with a carrot.

My first reaction was “Shit, I was gonna eat that later, but now it’s gonna taste like carrots!” I fucking hate carrots.

My girlfriend hated my obsession with Japanese food

Sushi left me

Her: I hope we die on the same day

Him: Why do you hate me, grandma?

Why is there so much hate for lazy people?

I mean, they didn't even do anything.