Hate jokes

I hate when revolving doors move too fast

It's a pane in the ass

I hate it when homeless people shake their cups of coins at me

I get that you have more money than me, no need to rub it in

What is the difference between Disney and brazzer?

Disney teaches you how to hate your step mom while Brazzer teaches you how you can show your love.

I hate that SEPTember, OCTober, NOVember and DECember aren't the 7th, 8th, 9th and 10th months...

Whoever messed this up should be stabbed

I cry every time after sex

I hate prison

I absolutely hate my job at the can crushing facility.

It's soda pressing.

I hate russian dolls

they are so full of themselves.

I hate breakups.

Especially when they try to let you down gently. "It's not you, it's me" "I just need some space" "We can still be cousins".

Why aren't there any Calculus teachers in Little Rock, Arkansas?

Because everyone there hates integration.

Why does Gordon Ramsay hate unprotected sex?

It's fucking raw

Why do ghosts hate working out?

Because they have to exorcise

I visited my friend at his new house.

He told me to make myself at home. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.

My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...

I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."

A husky, a pitbull, and a chihuahua are all fighting over a poodle.

Poodle says: "I'll only choose the mate who can use the words 'Liver' and 'Cheese' in one sentence..."

Husky: "Well that's easy, I love liver and I love cheese!"

Poodle: "That's not gonna work"

Pitbull: "I hate liver and I hate cheese!"

Poodle: "...No"

Chihuahua: "LIVER ALONE, CHEESE MINE!"

I hate spring cleaning.

Damn things bounce all over the place.

I hate it when Windows 10 resets my default browser...

It puts me on Edge every time

Waking up on a Monday morning...

On a Monday morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up son. It's time to got to school!" "But mom, I don't want to go." "Give me two reasons why." "Well, the kids hate me, and the teachers hate me too!" "That's no reason. Come now get ready." "Give me two reasons why I should go?" "Well for one you are 52 years old. And for another, you're the principal!".

Why did Trump push for Congress to change the national bird after seeing one get sick in a zoo?

He hates ill eagles.

I hate engineer students, they always walk around saying "I'm an engineer" this, or "I'm an engineer" that.

You don't hear a math student say "i'm a mathematician" or an art student say "i'm a barista".

I used to hate Nihilist humor...

but nothing is funny to me now.