Illness jokes

Randomly came up with this joke laying in bed one night - What do you call a bald eagle with the flu that migrates from Mexico to the US?

An ill eagle immigrant...

Why did Trump push for Congress to change the national bird after seeing one get sick in a zoo?

He hates ill eagles.

A Irishman, Mick goes to the doctor complaining of stomach pain...

Doctor: "Well I cant find anything wrong with you , it must be the drinking" Mick : "Ill come back when you're sober Doctor"

I Got my girlfriend a “get better soon” card.

She’s not ill or anything but she could definitely get better.

Old people love

My grandma rubbed butter on granddad's feet when he was ill. He went downhill fast after that.

I hear the inventor of auto correct died

I didn't even know he was I'll

What is the worst combination of illnesses?

Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running, but can’t remember where.