Joe was standing in line at the bank...
... and noticed the man in front of him looked a bit tense. Joe began to give the man a shoulder rub.
The man turns around furiously and says "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING".
In a confused look, Joe says: you looked a bit tense and since I'm a masseuse, I thought I'd try to help you out.
The man looks at him and says: Yea? I'm a lawyer, you don't see me fucking the guy in front of me!
I walked in the lounge to find my wife breastfeeding our son.
“How long do you have to do that for?” I asked. “When is he too old for it?”
“Well, it’s a physical bond between a mother and her child isn’t it? It’s only the society that deems it unacceptable above a certain age.”
“Yeah, shut up Joe – I was talking to your mother.”
A political joke for both sides:
Joe Biden has forgotten more about governing than Trump ever learned.
What's the first thing a cannibal does in the morning?
Grab a cup of joe.
What is the difference between a Joe Biden speech and a Donald Trump speech?
When Biden is speaking you wonder if he's had a stroke.
When Trump is speaking you wonder if you've had a stroke.
Joe Biden recently said his kid's won't have offices in the white house.
Mainly because he also won't have an office in the white house.
My dad's a magician
Bob: What does your father do for a living?
Joe: He’s a magician. He performs tricks, like sawing people in half.
Bob: Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Joe: Yep, four half-sisters and a half-brother.
If Joe Biden’s wife is called the first lady, what do we call his mother?
Joe mama.
Boxers or Briefs, Mr. President?
In 1992 while being interviewed by MTV, Bill Clinton was asked if he wore boxers or briefs? Clinton replied, "Boxers"
In 2008 US magazine asked Obama, "Boxers or briefs"? Obama declined to answer the question.
Last week AARP asked Joe Biden, "Boxers or briefs"? Biden responded, "Depends".
So there's these two beavers...
one is named Joe and the other, Steven. Joe and Steven have a fire. Joe decides he's hungry so he grabs a pan and some sticks.
Steven runs over and says "Joe what are you doing?" And says "im just grilling up some sticks."
Steven immediately smacks the pan from Joe's paw and says
"JOE THATS A NON STICK PAN"
Oh hey, Larry's sporting bling in his ears
Joe: When did you start wearing earrings?
Larry: Since the day my wife found them in my car.
A farmer has three daughters who are all going on dates tonight. The doorbell rings and the farmer answers it. The boy says 'Hello I'm Joe, I'm here for Flo. We are going to see a show. Is she ready to go?' so Flo leaves with Joe. The doorbell rings again and the boy says 'Hello I'm Eddy, I'm here for Betty. We are going to eat spaghetti. Is she ready?' so Betty leaves with Eddy. The doorbell rings a third time and the boy says 'Hello I'm Chuck....'. The farmer promptly shot him.