Load

“Trojan” isn’t a good name for a condom.

Didn’t the real Trojan horse burst and loads of little guys came pouring out of it?

Hi Lads.

Iv'e got a load of Victoria Secret Bra sets just arrived which will make a lovely Christmas present.

If you can send me a picture of your wife's tits, I'll let you know if I have any that will fit.

Merry Christmas..

An English joke

American, Frenchman, Englishman and Pakistani all on top of Eifel tower.

American throws aload of money over the edge. "What did you do that for?" the others ask. "We have so much money in the states that I can afford to."

The Frenchman throws loads of bottles of wine over the top and says "we have so much wine here that I can throw as much as I like over,"

The pakistani looks at the Englishman and says "DONT YOU FUCKING DARE!"

Sperm banks be like:

Get a load of this guy

A man goes to a costume party with nothing but a naked woman on his back.

"What are you supposed to be, then?" the confused host asks.

"I'm a turtle," the man replies.

"What a load of rubbish!" the host says. "How can you be a turtle when all you've got is that naked woman on your back?"

"Oh her?" the man smiles. "That's just Michelle!"

Washing Machine

Husband and wife decide to make a password for sex, they decide on ‘washing machine’. Later in bed that night husband says, “Washing machine.” Wife replies, “Not tonight darling I have a headache.” Half an hour passes and she feels guilty so she says, “Washing machine.” Husband replies, “Too late it was only a small load so I decided to do it by hand.”

I met a frail old wizard. He had bad breath and loads of blisters.

He was a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

I remember my grandfather's last words: "Is that loaded?"

During an FBI exam, three men face a scenario: to shoot their wives. The first two couldn't do it. The third admits, "The gun wasn't loaded, so I strangled her."

“I love you loads, honey pie.” My wife said earlier.

“And I love you tons.” I replied.

“What, no nickname for me?” She asked, disappointed.

Sometimes I swear the fat cow’s going deaf.

What do you call a semi truck with it's load half empty?

Pessimist Prime

Wife was cleaning 12 year old son's bedroom

When she finds a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags. She asks her husband "what should we do?"

Her husband says "I'm no expert, but i wouldn't fucking spank him".