American

Why are Native Americans the most successfull strippers?

Because when they dance, they make it rain.

An American walks into an English pub and orders a Budweiser.

Barman: Oh, you must be American. American: You can tell from my order and accent, huh? Barman: No, because you're the fattest fuck I've ever seen.

What's the difference between an American girl and a Muslim girl?

The American girl gets stoned before sex.

Mexico should stop importing cocaine for a month;

then the Americans will be the ones climbing the wall...

Why do Americans take a gun while they go fishing ?

Cause groups of fish are called schools

I'd tell you a joke about healthcare...

...but the Americans would struggle to get it.

First visit to America as German guy!

I was pissing on the side of the road when suddenly an American girl walks by. She saw my penis and shouted "GROSS!"

I shouted back "DANKE!"

As an American looking at the situation in Afghanistan

It's good to see that, even decades later, the freedom fighters we trained can still drive out a superpower.

An English joke

American, Frenchman, Englishman and Pakistani all on top of Eifel tower.

American throws aload of money over the edge. "What did you do that for?" the others ask. "We have so much money in the states that I can afford to."

The Frenchman throws loads of bottles of wine over the top and says "we have so much wine here that I can throw as much as I like over,"

The pakistani looks at the Englishman and says "DONT YOU FUCKING DARE!"

"Un, deux, trois, quatre", radioed the French ship...

...before it cinq.

"Eins, zwei, drei", radioed the German ship vierlessly, but then silence.

"Uno, dos", radioed the Spanish ship, and then disappeared without a tres.

"One," radioed the British ship before it went two.

"Won," radioed the American sub.

What's the difference between an American and a computer?

American don't have trouble shooting.

speak, three languages you are trilingual, two, bi-lingual, what do they call you if you only speak one language?

American

What do you call it when you mix alcohol and American literature ?

Tequila Mockingbird

What is a Karen called in Europe?

An American.

Bernie Sanders confronted the head of the NSA and asked him why they are still illegally surveilling Americans.

The guy replied, “Some people just like to watch the world, Bern.”

Dear Americans, As today is 9.11 I wish you all the best and am really sorry for your losses.

Greetings from Europe!

An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like "it's an elevator not a lift" and "it's chips not crisps," etc. After a while of this, the British person calmly retorted, "they're schools, not shooting ranges."

How many South Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A Brazilian

Two of Trump's wives have been immigrants.

Which just goes to show you that those people will take jobs that no American wants.

It’s finally October, and you know what that means!

Americans might actually start wearing masks.

Why are Americans so good at shooting?

We have the best schools for it

Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight...

There would be mass confusion

As an Aussie, Americans are always asking me where in Australia there *isn’t* something trying to kill you...

“School” is my answer

As an American, I see a lot of jokes here saying that America is the dumbest country.

It's ridiculous and unfair. Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country.

An Asian Man Walks Up to A Bank Teller To Exchange Yen for Dollars....

The teller gives him $180.

The Asian man complains: "But yestaday, I get $200. Why less today?"

The teller shrugs and replies: "Fluctuations"

Livid, the Asian man yells "Well, fuck you Americans too!"