A teenage girl was being intimate with her boyfriend at her parents house.
Her father after being woken by the noises goes upstairs to check it out, and walks in on them.
"Dad!" she exclaimed in a panic "...I'm sorry"
The dad being a dad replies "hi sorry, I'm Dad!"
He then turns to the boyfriend and asks "Are you fucking sorry?"
Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex.
They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch, thinking that their wife should be really happy.
How do you hide an elephant in a cherry tree?
Easy, just paint his balls red.
Now what’s the loudest noise in the jungle?
A giraffe eating cherries
When my wife suggested getting a white noise machine for the bedroom, I was initially ok with it.
Then I realized I hate country music.
So Hawaii recently made a new law in regards to noise and the increase of noise complaints due to an uprising in loud laughter.
They now have to use a low ha
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
*gagging noises*
Paddy got a job as a lumberjack
but try as he might, he couldn't meet his quota of fifty trees a day. By chance he saw an ad in a shop window for chainsaws 'guaranteed to fell 60 trees a day'. So he bought one, but the best he could manage was forty trees a day. So he took it back to the shop and complained that there must be something wrong with it. "Let me look at it", said the man in the shop. So he took the chainsaw and switched it on. "What's that noise?" said Paddy?
What do we want?
Low flying airplane noises!
When do we want them?
NNEEEEOOOOWWWWW
I bought this white noise generator to help me sleep better
But it kept waking me last night by shouting "all lives matter" and demanding to speak to my manager.