Note

My girlfriend left a note on the fridge, saying “this isn’t working anymore”

I open the fridge and it’s working fine WTF

I stopped drinking water while studying chemistry

My notes say adding water decreases concentration

An honest politician, a kind lawyer, and Santa were walking down the street...

...and they saw a £20 note. Who picked it up?

Santa. The other two don't exist.

Got home to find my wife had left a note on the fridge that said "This isn't working I'm going to my mum's"

I opened up the fridge. The light was on and the beer was cold. I'm not sure what she was talking about.

What has one finger and is very demanding?

A ransom note.

A soldier serving overseas far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote to break off their engagement and ask for her photograph back.

He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together, and sent them back with a note saying, “I regret that I cannot remember which one you are.

Please keep your photo and return the others.”

I found my son hanging from a rope in his bedroom. On the floor was a note saying, "I can't stand the critism anymore." I quickly cut him down, gave him CPR and he started to breath....

As he lay in my arms, I saw his eyes slowly open and I said, "That's not how you spell criticism."

I was recently complimented on my driving skills

Someone left a note on my car that said "Parking Fine"

A LADY lost her handbag..

It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her.

Looking in her purse, she commented, “Hmm, that’s funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 note in it. Now there are 20 $1 coins.”

The boy replied, “That’s right, lady. The last time I found a lady’s purse, she didn’t have any change for a reward.”

A man says to his waiter, ‘Excuse me sir, this coffee is cold’

The waiter replies, ‘Thanks for telling me. I’ll make a note on the bill. Iced coffee is one Euro more’.

‌‌My g‌‌irlfriend l‌‌eft a‌‌ n‌‌ote o‌‌n t‌‌he f‌‌ridge d‌‌oor...

It said, "This is not working. I'm going to my mothers."

I opened the door. The light came on. The beer was cold. Just what in the hell did she mean?

Saw a woman get her nipple pierced in front of me at the bar last night.

On a side note, I am absolutely terrible at darts.

"Have you ever seen a twenty pound note all crumpled up?" asked the wife.

"No," I said.

She gave me a sexy little smile, reached into her cleavage and pulled out a crumpled twenty pound note.

"Have you ever seen a fifty pound note all crumpled up?" she asked.

"No," I said.

She gave me another sexy little smile, reached into her knickers and pulled out a crumpled fifty pound note.

"Now," she said, "have you ever seen 30,000 pounds all crumpled up?"

"No," I said, intrigued.

"Well, go and take a quick look in the garage."