Number jokes

My drunk friend got kicked out of Karaoke for singing “Danger Zone” 7 times in a row.

He had exceeded the maximum number of Loggins attempts.

I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday.

That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.

My friend told me to stop speaking in numbers...

but I didn't 1 2.

I asked a Chinese Girl for her number...

She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

My father told me, "Work until your bank account look like a phone number."...

My available balance is $9.11.

I called my girlfriends cell phone and some other guy answered the phone...

He told me that my phone number was no longer in service and to call the phone company to pay my bill.

First she cheats on me and then she tells him about my financial troubles!

In order to make a relationship work, you have to make a lot of sacrifices....

Which is why I keep a large number of goats in my garden...

Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers

He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them

A dad says to his son “Ten times two and eleven times two equal the same number”

The son says it’s wrong

The dad asks “what’s ten times two?”

The son replies “Twenty”

Then the dad says “And eleven times two is twenty too!”

Why is twelve an unfair number?

Because it's two against one

When my employer asked if I had a criminal record...

...I guess "highest number of robberies in an hour" wasn't the answer he was looking for.

What's the grossest number?

6.9 because it's a 69 with a period in the middle.