Plant jokes

If trees produced wifi we'd be planting them everywhere...

... too bad they only produce oxygen.

I want to tell you about a girl who only eats plants

You’ve probably never heard of herbivore

I used to work at a hydroelectric plant.

It was the best dam job I ever had.

Why does the army plant saplings every year?

To grow the infant-tree

Do you know why they buried George H. W. In Houston instead of his beloved Kennebunkport?

Because it’s way too cold for planting Bushes in Maine.. told to me by my mother

My wife swears the CIA put a listening device in our yard disguised as a tree.

I told her it's just a plant

My neighbor just got arrested for growing pot plants

I guess my property line isn't where I thought it was.

What kind of plant is the scariest?

bamBOO

What plant will kill you in 5 min or less if you just stand under it

Water lily

Biology Joke

When a plant is sad, what do other plants do?

Photosympathize