Range jokes

Neighbor rang on my doorbell at 3AM

My neighbor rang on my doorbell at 3am. Can you believe it!? Luckily I was still up playing the drums.

Two IT techs are at the local gun range.

After about 10 minutes of practice, one of the techs isn't able to hit the target. The other looks at him and says "What is your problem?"

The embarrassed IT tech puts his head down and says, "Troubleshooting."

For a good time go bowling

A woman was having sex with her husbands best friend when her phone rang and her husband's name appeared on the ID. As she answered the call, her lover jumped out of bed and began to dress in a hurry. "relax" she said after she hung up the phone. He was just calling to tell me that he'd be home late because he's out bowling with you.

An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like "it's an elevator not a lift" and "it's chips not crisps," etc. After a while of this, the British person calmly retorted, "they're schools, not shooting ranges."

The Bible is 100% accurate

Especially when thrown at close range

A woman places an ad looking for a man to be her lover

The ad reads: "Looking for a man with 3 qualities: won’t beat me up, won’t run away from me, and is great in bed."

A few days later her doorbell rings. The man says, "Hi, I’m Dave. I have no arms so I won’t beat you, and no feet so I won’t run away."

"What makes you think you're great in bed?" the woman retorts.

Dave replies, "I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?"

An Australian was taking his girlfriend out for a night of passion under the stars.....

....when she was stung between the legs by a giant hornet. In a panic he wasn’t sure what to do so he rang the Australian Emergency Medical Helpline.... “Hello, I’m takin’ me Shiela out for a romantic night of camping and she’s just been stung by a hornet on her privates...and it’s all swollen and closed up”... “Ahhh bummer mate”, the helpline operator replied. “Oh cheers, great idea, thanks mate!” Replied Bruce... and put the ‘phone down.....

I ordered a second-hand deck of cards from a casino.

After four weeks they still hadn’t been delivered so I rang them up to see what was going on.

They told me they were still dealing with my order.

On Halloween, a little boy dressed as a pirate.

He went up to a house and rang the doorbell. A man answered and said, "Well I'll be, a pirate! But where are your buccaneers? The little boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."